Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
Therapy for Adult Individuals in Pasadena and online
Growing up, did you feel the pressure to act a certain way in order to receive love and acceptance? Do you find yourself working hard to please one or both of your parents, only to end up feeling as if you have fallen short over and over again? Do you often feel as if there is no room for your needs or feelings? Do these thoughts stir up feelings of guilt, or give you the sense that something is wrong with you if you feel that something is not quite right in your relationship with a parent?
I want you to know that I believe you have good reason to feel how you do. We live in a society that revere's parents and parenthood. After all, our parents often provide for our physical and emotional needs, encourage and support us in our interests, pick us up after we fall…all of which help to let us know how much we are loved and valued. But for those of us that don’t have that kind of relationship, admitting that we actually feel frustrated, or hurt by a parent rather than valued, can make us think that there is something wrong with us. Of course, parents are only human, and it is normal for them to not have met our needs 100% of the time. However, if you’ve experienced lifelong criticism, rejection or antagonism with a parent, you may have been raised by an emotionally immature parent or caregiver.
Clinical psychologists describe an emotionally immature parent (EIP) as one who lacks the emotional skills needed to cope with life in a healthy way. As a result, they end up unintentionally hurting their children through self absorbed, rejecting, abandoning and controlling behaviors. This can create feelings of instability and emotional insecurity for the child, well into adulthood. Often, the ACEIP (adult child of emotionally immature parents) may experience difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships, or increased feelings of self doubt, anxiety or depression.
I believe it is possible to find more emotional freedom, as well as a new way of relating to your EIP that feels good to you. Together, in a safe and validating environment, we will work to identify and unlearn unhelpful patterns, understand your parent and situation objectively, identify personal limits and practice boundary setting, turn toward your own needs and reconnect to your intuition, so that you can gain control of your life and live more authentically in your own skin.
Signs you may have been raised by an emotionally immature parent or caregiver:
You feel guilty for focusing on your own needs
You trust other’s perspectives over your own
You are highly attuned to the problems and feelings of others, to the neglect of your own
You struggle to feel good enough in your relationships or feel deserving of success and happiness
You have a difficult time identifying and/or expressing your emotions
You often find yourself in dysfunctional or imbalanced relationships